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As the monstrous second wave of the Corona Virus continues to ravage India and people keep running to find hospital beds, oxygen, medical drugs and even medical assistance – all of this combined with the visible flaws in our healthcare has triggered a mental health crisis; the rapidly rising number of calls for assistance at mental health hotlines are a proof of it.
You know when you share with someone how you are not feeling good and that some sort of uncertainty is surrounding you but you are immediately shut off by being asked to ‘think positive’ and the classic ‘it is all in your head’ response? Suppression of emotions that arise as a reaction to any happening or situation to promote ‘positive’ emotions is called toxic positivity. It Is Real And Rising Amid Covid.
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Amid times like these when a majority of us are bereaved, it is nothing foreign to see people dealing with ‘negative’ emotions or thoughts. Studies reveal that cases of mental health which are most likely to go unnoticed and unaddressed are the issues faced by the general public who is locked inside their houses now. Emotions like ‘anxiety’ and ‘stress’ are growing common every passing day; what remains uncommon is – knowledge about the said emotions.
The relation of India with Mental Health isn’t foreign to you readers – although changed slightly over the past years, there still lies the old stigma which probably has grown grey hair by now. With the old stigma, comes toxic positivity and it is real – very real.
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Studies have proven that suppressing emotions from releasing to have a ‘positive state of mind’ does more harm than anything and affects in the long run.
“To move through pain, you need to feel it – and positive thinking can become toxic if you’re pressuring someone to always see the bright side,” tells John-Paul Davies, psychotherapist, counselor and author of personal development book Finding A Balanced Connection.
As much as holding onto the thin shreds of positivity in times as crucial as now is important, releasing the negative pent-up emotions or feelings is also of equal importance. While we completely cannot and should not be ignoring the good things that we have and cherish them in times like these where everything is uncertain, we all should also be mindful enough to not invalidate what someone else might be feeling with just a shrug of words Oh! We gotta stay positive.
Dr. Paul McLaren, a general adult psychiatrist at Priory Hospital Hayes Grove, says: “While statements like, ‘Yes but look at all the good things you have’, have their place, they can be harmful to someone who is dealing with feelings that are appropriate and understandable – for example during periods of grief, or because they are suffering a depressive illness and have very little choice about how they feel.”
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Every load is lighter when shared; telling the grieving that they are strong is – I can’t emphasize enough – wrong on many levels. What they are feeling and going through can’t be healed or soothed by words like ‘strong’ or ‘positive’. What they are feeling is anything but strong – they are vulnerable and it is really important to embrace their vulnerability and let it heal on its own, by the ointments of time. Lend them a shoulder to lean on, an ear that is willing to listen to their sorrows, and a hand that soothes their back while they release their pain in form of tears or loud wails.
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It’s high time we stop turning a blind eye to the difference between denial and toxic positivity. Everything around us is drenched in the rains of uncertainty and people are weak and vulnerable. We are witnessing a time where our lack of vocabulary around the words like ‘loss’, ‘death’ and ‘grief’ is clearer than ever and if anything that we need the most right now is, emotional understanding and support. Talk, Understand, and reflect because your words can blow like a sharp blade and make the bleeding wounds worse and harder to deal with or work like the most soothing and comforting element ever.
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-Sanjana Pincha
